GRIEF (3) MODELS OF PROCESSES
KUBLER-ROSS GRIEF CYCLE A – EMOTIONAL JOURNEY OF LOSS
Grief is a common experience, something that affects each of us at a certain point in our lives, often unexpectedly and very painfully. Whether it stems from the loss of a loved one, the end of a meaningful relationship, or a major life change, grief can evoke a variety of complex emotions that are difficult to understand let alone manage. To make sense of your feelings, psychologist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross introduced the concept of the grief cycle, a framework that illuminates the different phases of emotional response to personal trauma and change.
Originally developed to explain the experiences of those faced with terminal illness, the Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle has since become widely used to understand the broader process of grieving. One of the model’s basic principles is the recognition that mourning is not a step-by-step or linear process. Instead, it is fluid and dynamic, zig-zagging, where individuals often move between stages rather than moving through them in a specific order.
The Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle consists of five stages, each representing a different emotional response to loss:
Denial: Denial serves as a protective mechanism, allowing individuals to temporarily shield themselves from the harsh reality of their circumstances. Whether conscious or unconscious, denial involves a refusal to accept the facts or implications of the loss, providing a brief respite from overwhelming emotions.
Anger: When the initial shock of denial begins to wear off, anger can emerge as a prominent emotion. Directed inward or outward, anger reflects feelings of frustration, resentment, and injustice. Individuals may attack themselves, others, or even the deceased, as they grapple with the unfairness of their situation. Believers experience the anger against God!
Negotiation: In an attempt to regain a sense of control or ease their pain, individuals may enter into negotiation, often with a higher power or the universe as a whole. This phase is characterized by pleas for a reversal of fate or alleviation of suffering, although such negotiations are typically fruitless in the presence of immutable loss.
Depression: When the full weight of the loss sinks in, people can sink into a bottomless pit of sadness, despair, and hopelessness. Depression encompasses a variety of emotions, including regret, fear, and uncertainty, as individuals confront the stark reality of their changed circumstances.
Acceptance: In the final phase of the grieving cycle, acceptance represents a gradual process of emotional distancing and reconciliation. Although not synonymous with happiness or closure, acceptance indicates a willingness to accept the reality of the loss and begin to integrate it into life. It marks the beginning of the journey to healing and renewal.
It is important to note that the Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle is not prescriptive, and it does not set a set timeline for grieving. Rather, it provides a framework for understanding the varied and often complex emotions that accompany loss. Individuals may experience these phases in different orders and intensities, and some may revisit certain phases multiple times before reaching a sense of acceptance.
Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle gives us valuable insights into the emotional terrain of grief, offering comfort and understanding to those navigating the stormy waters of loss. By recognizing the commonness or universality of grief and respecting the unique journey of each individual, we can cultivate empathy, compassion, and support for ourselves and others as we deal with the inevitable challenges of life and death.